If I were married to me, I’m sure that every word from my mouth would drip with adoration for my hero of a husband, the greatest guy ever. My wifie takes a somewhat different approach. The following conversation took place as we pulled into a rest stop in Indiana today.
“I’d kind of like a Kit Kat,” said wifie.
“I could go for that too,” as I brush my hair out of my eyes.
“Aww… look at you combing your little wisps of hair over your bald spot.”
“Umm… I wasn’t trying to hide my bald spot.”
“You know what I was thinking? Every time I start to feel bad about myself, I think about you and realize I don’t need to feel bad at all.”
A second of stunned silence from me. “Is that supposed to make me feel good about myself?”
“I just mean,” she started, now laughing, “I guess that sounds kind of bad, but I didn’t mean for it to. I just meant…”
“that any time you feel bad about yourself, you just think about your hideous husband and you end up feeling pretty good?”
“No!!! Just that I sometimes feel old or like I’ve got some issues, but then I look at you and…(laughter), oh my, this does sound really bad.”
“I mean, between my wispy hair and bald spots, and the awful picture of me sleeping you took the other day, you should never feel bad about yourself again, right?”
One thing is for sure: after this conversation, I have got to get myself in shape and looking good so my wifie can start feeling bad about herself again… (Does anyone know where I can get a nice toupee?)