Stuff Reagan says…


Reagan has one goal in life: to be an inventor. She is constantly taking stuff apart and putting it together in new ways. Then, her entrepreneurial spirit kicks in, and she goes into sales mode. I don’t know what she’ll end up being in life, but she’s got enough drive for any ten kids – I think she’ll be just fine no matter what path she chooses.

This week, she invented the “Hand Massager”. She took apart a ball point pen and hooked a paper clip into it somehow, and voila – the massager. It’s actually more like a “tickler” but it did feel really good! She tickled my hand, and then went back to the workshop and developed the “Two-pronged” massager for hands AND backs. She then had her business manager (Riley) discuss my order with me (buy two, get one free), for which Riley received a small commission. We’re planning to go on Shark Tank later this year.

That evening, we had our daily fight over what to eat. Daddy had forgotten to thaw any meat, so we had to go out. Reagan wanted Arby’s. Riley wanted McDonald’s. Wifie wanted higher quality fare. All Daddy wanted was squirrel… and for the fighting to stop. Finally, I pulled off of Ford Road and said, “that’s it, we’re going to 5 Guys, and that’s final!”

You would have thought I announced a puppy had died.

Reagan was finally placated by the fact that she could have a “plain” hamburger, and Riley agreed to take one for the family and eat a grilled cheese. We went in, and the girls busied themselves drawing pictures for the 5 Guys bulletin board while we ate.

Now most kids draw pictures of hamburgers and say “I love 5 Guys” when they post stuff on the bulletin board. Not Reagan. She used this as an opportunity to advertise her business ventures for free. Multiple pictures of the massager were drawn. “Like 5 Guys? You’ll love the Hand Massager”. We smiled and indulged her.

As we were about to leave, Reagan sprang up from her seat to post her ads. We called her back – we wanted to see the work of our creative genius before the rest of the world did. Most of the ads were very cute. Then we got to the last one, which she had been about to hang on the bulletin board for all of 5 Guys’ customers to consider:

“For a $.50 Hand Massage, call 248-xxx-xxxx”

That’s wifie’s phone number.

I’m not sure that’s the type of advertising this household needs.


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3 Responses to Stuff Reagan says…

  1. Sandy anglen says:

    Too funny! As usual you manage to make me laugh! Keep the stories coming.

  2. Yeah, sounds more like something you would read on the inside of a bathroom stall. Got to love the entrepreneurial spirit though.

  3. J. Larson says:

    Very funny:)

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