On getting in shape…

“A bear, however hard he tries, grows tubby without exercise.”  A.A. MilneWinnie-the-Pooh

Pleasantly plump. 

This is the term I generally use to describe my physical appearance.

I could also use the term “obese,” because the doctor tells me that is my truth.

I could say “fat,” but that sounds a bit too derogatory.

I could say “well-rounded,” but then I sound like an overall good human being.

I could say “husky,” but then I sound like either a dog or a thick child from the 1980’s.

I could say “out of shape,” but as the old adage points out, round is a shape.

So lets stick with pleasantly plump.

Why am I in such a state?

Mt. Dew… by the caseload.  Lack of exercise.  5 hours or less of sleep every night.  A knee that was blown out and is just now getting back to full strength.  A love of Oreos… sleeves and sleeves of Oreos.  A general disdain for fruits and vegetables.  A love of sweets and meats and breads.  A tall frame that allows me to hide it well until I head north of 235 pounds (approximately 30 pounds too much). Laziness and complacency.

What has it done to me?

Well, my knees ache.  My heart feels like its working overtime.  My liver doesn’t function properly.  My gut has its own zip code.  My back feels like little gnomes pound it with hammers all night long.  The arches of my feet have become flats.  I’ve got one foot in the grave, and I’m not even 35.

Something’s gotta give.  I can’t stay pleasantly plump unless I have a death wish… and I don’t have one of those.

So, I guess exercise has to be a part of the Story.

Oh, how I hate it.  It didn’t used to be that way – I used to love exercise when I was young and thin and had a full head of soft, luxurious hair.  But now… well, there’s a reason I usually live by this quote:

“Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”  –  Paul Terry

However, a guy can only take so many comparisons to the guy from The Biggest Loser before he has to take action.  Bless my sweet little Riley’s heart, but she delivers the cold, unaltered truth – “See daddy – you don’t look quite as bad as that guy…”

I don’t look quite this bad…

Quite?  Oh my… my motivation is surging.

Time to hit the treadmill again.

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4 Responses to On getting in shape…

  1. Kimberly Ervin says:

    I too HATE exercise! I used to love it when I played all the sports in high school but now I dont even want to walk around the block…..I sometimes thing running would be so fun! But then I remember how I run….lets just say they called me “Madame Butterfly” for a reason. http://youtu.be/rfaztVg4kaA See exhibit A (not quite as bad but take it down 2 notches and you get my drift. So what I am trying to say is I hate it too BUT I am glad you are trying to get back into liking it!

  2. I just got off the exercise bike, I am right there with you.

  3. lisatemp says:

    Ditch the Dew!!!

  4. J Wu says:

    Give up the Mountain Dew! We believe in you!

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