A conversation between the drunken neighbors…

I’m 100% sure this exact conversation took place at the neighbors’ house sometime in mid-August. Keep in mind, they never leave the house, yet never have time to do anything of importance…like mowing their lawn. Names have been changed to protect privacy.

Billy: “Hey man, do you realize that we have mowed the lawn three whole times this summer?”

Bob: “No way dude. That’s… Incredible!”

Billy: “I know, right? What do you say we shut it down for the summer? I mean, what else can we accomplish out there?”

Bob: “But dude, what will we do with ourselves for the rest of the summer?”

Billy: “I figure we can do a couple of things. First, we can drink beer. Lots of beer. And we can listen to 80s rock. If we’re really feeling bold, we can also build a fire in the backyard AND drink beer AND listen to Def Leppard & friends AT THE SAME TIME!!! We might even consider doing all of them at 2 a.m.”

Bob: “And we wouldn’t have to mow the lawn ever again?”

Billy: “No way! Three times is more than enough in any given summer. Heck, we mowed it TWICE after the 4th of July. We’re not machines, we’re men! What do you think?”

Bob: *Passes out on the floor, beer cans already strewn about his feet*

Billy: “Now that’s what I’m talking about.”

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