It is no coincidence that the month given over to appreciation is also the month known as No Shave November. For what can be more worthy of thanks than luxurious locks of hair flowing from your face? Yes, it is time to step back and admire the wonder of facial hair…
I remember when I was a wee boy of 11, and several wisps of hair on my upper lip turned dark. The epic journey had begun! And while that awkward middle school mustachio did not make me look particularly fetching, it was just the start of an epic journey covered in fur.
I honestly feel bad for menfolk who cannot sprout whiskers from their chins, cheeks, or neck. My good friend Chaddystu comes to mind. These smooth, pink pansies spend their whole lives trying to present themselves as manly simply because they are not manly in their natural state. I know how this feels. As recently as 2009, I had to shave my chin whiskers to work at a private school that took pleasure in controlling facial growth. I mean, look upon this picture – how smooth and terrifying! My daughters literally cried when I walked into their room, breeze flowing across a naked chin.
But I am happy to say that most of my adult life has been spent with a reddish brown carpet springing forth beneath my nose and below my mouth. Length can be adjusted for the situation – a little extra for winter time warmth, and closely shorn to catch some summer rays. Occasionally I even go with the full beard, and then my manliness is something to behold. Little panty-waisted men like Chaddystu hang their head in shame when confronted with a man exuding confidence and folicular superiority. Look at this manliness:
Of course, one of the dangers of the modern age is found in womenfolk that only appreciate smoothly shaven men. Where this desire came from, I’m not sure anyone knows, but I can proudly say even this newfangled trend hasn’t affected me. Since 1999, my facial hair has been accepted by the infamous group Women Against Facial Hair (WAFH). Their steely resolve to eradicate men with chin tresses does not extend to the Furry Bard, and his ever wonderful beard. I even was given this t-shirt, which has nearly been worn to death to show my pride:
While it’s true that in my old age, the reddish brown of my beard has faded to white, it doesn’t make it any less impressive. It adds a dignity to my face – wizened with age. Oh yes, a white beard can be just as manly as a dark beard, so long as you are confident in yourself…
I cannot express how thankful I am to have fur to spare, especially on my face. It is a form of manliness, a covering, an art form. On this 7th day of No Shave November, I am so very thankful that when I do not shave, the ensuing growth helps define who I am.
I am a man with a beard.