When mom turns 40… er, um… 38…

My 35th birthday has me thinking of all sorts of stories from my past, and one in particular keeps coming to mind.  My ex-girlfriend’s mom’s 40th birthday.

Now, I am not the sort of person that cares about my age.  I’ve been cracking jokes about being old since I was 17.  I thought it was funny, but frankly, it’s probably been a bit annoying… at least, that’s what the wifie tells me.  Of course, she doesn’t find my antics amusing at all, but then again she has to deal with me on a daily basis… I digress…

Anyway, even though I don’t care about my age, I know that a lot of people do.  I can’t understand why.  We all get older.  This is known.  Why pretend that we are younger?  Is there a good reason to say you are 29 instead of 32?  49 instead of 54?  Or, in certain cases, 38 instead of 40?

That’s exactly what happened with my ex’s mom.  She was working at an office, and told everyone her 38th birthday was fast approaching.  The office planned a little party for her.  Everyone was happy and ready for merriment.  And then, her husband showed up at the office.  He was trying to be sweet to his wife, and had brought her a big cake with a giant “40” on it.  You know, since she was actually 40.  He knew she was feeling down about her age, and wanted to make her feel better.  Little did he know he was stepping into a web of deception.

I happened to be at the house for a little party when ex’s mom arrived home.  Her eruption was breathtaking.  Literally.  I couldn’t breathe – it was like sitting on the edge of your seat during a horror flick.  “YOU RUINED MY LIFE!!!!”  Hysterical sobs and yelling ensued.  He tried to explain that he was just being sweet, and that he couldn’t have known that she had been lying to her coworkers.  Calling her a liar didn’t help things.  At all.  Needless to say, the party didn’t happen.  But the sound of screaming, hysteria, a slamming door and continual weeping is burned into my brain.

So, one of the lessons I’ve learned in my 35 years of living?  Don’t lie about how old you are.  Wear the number with pride – because you never know when your idiot spouse is going to reveal that you have been lying to shave 730 days off your true age, and make you look like a complete donkey to your coworkers…

This entry was posted in Silly moms, Telling lies. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to When mom turns 40… er, um… 38…

  1. lisa says:

    I want to know who the ex is!

  2. Lori says:

    Me three! LOL 😀

  3. dtswampa says:

    I have to keep some secrets!!!

  4. Annette says:

    That is truly hilarious!

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