Stuff the girls say… Ugly Sweater Day

Nothing I own looks like this…

I’m fairly certain that my life would be entirely different if I never went out to dinner with my family. My self esteem would still be intact, my confidence unshattered, my outlook on life hopeful.

But when I go out to dinner, my daughters crush my dreams, and the wifie burns the broken pieces.

Lately, I’ve been thinking pretty positively about myself. I’ve cut back on Mt. Dew, I’ve been lifting weights, and attempting to update my wardrobe so I don’t look like I’m closing in on 40. I felt a bit like the old me again.

Then I went to Applebees with my womenfolk.

Reagan: Last week of school!!! And we are having ugly sweater day this week at school!

Me: Sounds like fun!

Wifie: That does sound fun! But we’ll have to go to the thrift store to get you some ugly sweaters.

Riley: That’s ok, mama.

Wifie: Why is that ok?

Riley: I’ve already picked out one of daddy’s sweaters to wear to ugly sweater day.

Me: Wait, what?

Riley: Yeah, I’ve picked out one of your sweaters to wear.

Reagan: *dying*

Me: One of my old sweaters?

Riley: No, you wore it this week.

Me: But the sweaters I wear aren’t that bad!

Riley and Reagan: *dying*

Wifie: Well, you can’t blame her. You wear your frumpy, ill fitting sweaters every single day to teach in.

Riley: Yeah daddy. If you wear ugly sweaters, I’m gonna wanna borrow one for ugly sweater days.

Me: You make me sound like I’m the worst dressed teacher alive.

All three girls in unison: Umm…

Riley: So when can I grab that sweater?

When indeed?