Meet the Spouses…

Blogging week continues…  if you missed any of the earlier posts, you can click on them here:

The Infamous Mr. Dicks and why I blog… – Derek

Losing everything and why I blog… – Nicole

Interview with a Blogstress

Banter with the Furry Bard

Derek Says:

While blogging can be an exhilarating experience in self-expression, there are certain danger zones. Much of blogging deals with everyday life, and thus the people in our everyday lives are apt to make appearances in what we write. But what if those people don’t want to make an appearance? Or they simply do not want certain information shared? Or worse, were unaware that they have made an appearance, and then someone else tells them about it?

So every blogger has to be careful about what they write. To me, life should be an open book… but that’s only my life. I can’t speak for others on that, and it has led to problems in the past. The most glaring example found people accosting my 10 year-old daughter and discussing the tooth fairy after reading about her attempt to catch us in a lie. What the what? Really, you’re going to talk to my child about something I wrote? She was very hurt that I would write about her without telling her, and assumed I was making fun of her. I had to smooth it over and now she actually asks me, “ are you gonna write a blog about that, daddy?” But for a few moments, I thought I had gone too far.

No where is this more evident that when writing about a spouse. I know both Nicole and I have extensively written about our spouses. As exciting as it can be for us to tell our tales to the world, it can be extremely uncomfortable for them. We think we paint them in a light that will flatter who they are, because we know what we mean in our hearts when we write about them. However, they sometimes feel embarrassed or worried that others might not perceive them that way.

I remember thinking it beautiful when Nicole told us about her trip to New Orleans with her gentleman caller named Mike. She painted her trip on a canvas for us all to enjoy. But I also remember when Nicole wrote her piece on “Coming out of the closet” about her love for Mike. Her words caught us up in that moment, but a lot of us that follow her held our collective breath – should she be putting this out there in a blog? What if it backfires? I mean, suddenly the whole world knows she’s in love – what happens next? Wonderful things, as it turns out, and we were all along for the ride…

I typically try to only involve the wifie in funny stories on my blog, but even that can create moments of discomfort. As simple a story as it was, the first blog I wrote about her made her very worried – she was concerned people would perceive her as mean-spirited. I just hit submit and assured her there was no problem – but in her eyes, I could see she still had doubts.

So Nicole and I thought it would be instructive to ask our spouses: what is it like to be married to a blogger? I interviewed Mike, and she interviewed the wifie – here are their own thoughts, shared with us all on their own terms:

An Interview with Mike, Nicole’s Husband

Tell us a little about your relationship with Nicole:

Almost instantly I could not get enough of her… she immediately made me laugh and feel at ease and she is so damn smart. I know we are going to have a lifetime of fun and interesting conversations and experiences together.

1)What were your initial thoughts when Nicole told you she was launching a blog?

I was excited for Nicole. I knew she had the capacity to speak to a lot of people through her writing. I am not surprised at all with the amount of successes she had with the blog so far…and I see limitless opportunity for her to explore her writing through blogging and other writing forums.

2) What is the best part about being married to a blogger?

There is never a quiet moment. She is always searching for the next thing to write about or experience. Seeing the world through Nicole’s eyes is an amazing thing as she is never one to judge and truly appreciates the uniqueness in all people. She loves watching human interaction in the purest and most simplest ways.

3) What is the worst part about being married to a blogger?

It is sometimes uncomfortable to see the personal parts of our relationship discussed but I think it shows the realness about what truly goes on in a marriage…both the highs and the lows

4) When was the first time you thought…”are you really going to write that”? What did you do?

I can’t remember the specific instance but I am sure I reached for a beer.

5) Do you think blogging changed your wife? If yes, how so?

Blogging has been great for Nicole. It has made her so much more confident in herself and her writing.

An Interview with Amy, Derek’s Wife (AKA the Wifie)

1) How did you feel when Derek said he wanted to start blogging?

When Derek said he wanted to start a blog, I was really excited for him. He writes beautifully, and has always had such a way with words. He’s got a good heart and mind, and really thinks things through–I think his words are worth sharing! He’s always wanted to be a writer, and I thought this would be a great way for him to finally start doing what he’s always been good at doing!

2) What is the best part about being married to a blogger?

The best part about him being a blogger, is that it makes him happy. I also like having others notice his wit and way with words! It’s fun to have acquaintances and friends send me a message, or stop me when they would normally pass by, and say how much they enjoyed Derek’s latest blog! I’m happy for him!

3) What is the worst part about being married to a blogger?

The worst part about being married to a blogger, might be the worry that everything that is done or said in the household, might be written about! 🙂 After the ground rules were set that I had to give clearance to things that are written about the personal side of me, I felt much better–And he has stuck to his promise! 🙂

4) When was the first time you thought…”are you really going to write that”? What did you do?

The first time I gave an adamant “No” was when he first let me proofread his blog “Husband’s monthly shopping trip“. I laughed so much when I read it though, that I felt if he made a few minor changes, it wouldn’t be too embarrassing. I obviously ended up agreeing to it! 🙂

5) Has blogging changed your husband?

I think it’s changed Derek in a positive way. He really likes writing and telling stories, so when he’s blogging, he seems to be more hopeful that things are going the way they should.

Nicole says:

When I decided to open my world to the whole world, so many people in my life were affected. I didn’t think I could share my thoughts without sharing my experiences, for me the two went hand in hand. When I read Amy and Mike’s responses to our questions, it really occurred to me how much impact what I write (or what Derek writes) has on my family.

I think we are lucky to have people in our lives that support us in whatever makes us happy–even if that means they reach for a beer when they are a bit uncomfortable or ask if we might change a word or two so they will sleep better at night.

After all, what we are writing about is our lives–our marriages, our children, our jobs, our fears. And through all of that, there is someone standing beside us, their dreams are unfolding just like ours.

And while we are living, we–the bloggers– are remembering the details to be written down at a later date, to be twisted a little into something special– to make people laugh or wince or cry.

And the whole time we are writing and remembering, there’s a husband, or a wife, standing nearby, wringing their hands, just a little. And wondering just what life story we will be writing next.

This entry was posted in The Wifie and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Meet the Spouses…

  1. dave says:

    Its been 150+ days since a post.

    Your killing me!!!!!!!!!!

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